da da da dum

Yes it wednesday night. Its probably the most awful night of the week by far. After work I go to the hospital and research my patients who I am more than likely afraid of. Then I go back to work to clean very unsure of the information I just spent an hour gathering. Then I clean as fast as I can so I can go home. Now I made an omlet. And yes it was even identifiable as an omlet for the first time. My secret is using a soft flipper instead of a stainless steel one. Try it.
Now I sit and wait to go and look up in my text books all the issues my patients have and should have some idea now how to care for them. I think I do know but it never feels adequate and the fear that tomorrow I might kill someone is very real. I absolutley hate it! I need advice. I can't live this way people? How do you cope with something you wish with every fiber of your being you don't have to do?